Erez's Blog

BRAT CAMP

In response to PEOPLE magazines article on BRAT CAMP and for all the people who think its ridiculous:

As a recovering addict, and being sober for almost three years (god willing), i understand what these kids are going through. Now you say that people film it and then they are done. These kids recieved after-care plans. Either an out-patient program close to them or a sober living house. Now if you wanna complain about this program maybe you should get your facts straight. Most likely the parents thought, well they are changed and it would be pointless to follow through on after care plans and you STILL blame the program.
Sage Walk is not a fake place that they made for this program. Its a real place that does this on a everyday basis with other kids NOT on TV. Dont blame the program or Sage Walk, blame perhaps the parents who are naive to the fact that their kids cant be bad anymore thanks to 50 days or whatever. its not that simple.

Get with it folks

Busy,Busy, Busy...

SOOOOOOO busy lately which is great!

"Devil and Dex Webster" goes up this weekend. Its been a short rehearsal process but im glad its gonna be over. It was getting frustrating with the guy i have to play opposite as my "partner in crime".

I start rehearsals for "UGLY BABY" tomorrow which im excited about. Its been a few months since ive actually attacked something thats challenging. Although the humor is so right on for me. Its like the character was writting for me. Plus its nice to be the lead again :-P

FLOSS is going great, im loving this cast. Not that i didnt like the other one. WE just hang out more, especially Jaime, Becky and Lorren. They asked me to do another three months which would ends right before christmas and than i leave for Rockford to do "Midsummer" and u/s Puck and play a mechanical.

Work-wise, life is good. Money is coming in.
Friend-wise, life is good. Its nice to have friends that have their shit together and follow through and dont use me . Thats a little something we call "Maturity" eh?

So thats about it from this end.

In Beauty, Love and Peace.

Philosophical Tuesday!

"How Often are we aware of the color of the sky or the smells that surround us?
We sleepwalk through the scripts and sets of our lives, only dimly recalling their vague outlines and meanings.
Always living for a better tomorrow or running from a numbing past, we inhabit this present moment like ashabby motel on the way to somewhere else"

Ive been thinking a lot about who i am at this present moment. Accepting who i am. It was so much easier when i was using. The drugs let me accept who i am or was.
The other night i was driving through the city and thinking out loud. Life is good right now, its a little stagnant but good.
Acting consistantly- check
Great apartment- check
great friends- check
boyfriend-.....

now its been a while since my last relationship. a year and a half to be precise. Im ready for something. I just refuse to date someone to just date someone. i know what i look for in someone and if i dont see it or feel the chemistry...why pretend. I knew people who would do that. Date people and start a relationship just cuz their pretty, not even paying attention to a mental connection. That person isnt going to have their good looks forever. But they will have their personality.And if your lucky, you'll still have connection.

However, im aware that right now is not the time for a relationship apparently. I mean if it was, someone would come along. Maybe i dont put myself out there enough, i dont go out much, im always rehearsing and performing something...i dont have the time to sit and look. Why look for something when it'll happen and find you.

I have to take everything at face value. I have to let go of my ideas of what my life and my world should be. Cuz things are exactly as their supposed to be. The wall is white....nothing more or less.

When i was driving and thinking out loud i sort of asked for some guidance. Whats the next step for me, and i realized...when my next step is availalbe it'll present itself. In the mean time i let myself grow.

See, even without weed i can come up with some philosophical shit....

A bucket of Kisses, a basket of Hugs!!!

Crazy-ass weekend.
Friday: Went and saw "The Bad Seed: the musical" with Jamie, Becky, Lorren and Derek. They gave us free tickets. Jamie and Becky are part of the new cast of FLOSS!. Ive been hanging with them a lot.
Bad Seed was ridiculously funny. Never seen anything like it. Afterwards, Jamie, Becky and I went to this party. It was alright, very clicky but i had fun.

Saturday: N.A. meeting, Lunch with Michael, Michael, Sergio and Alan. Home depot and Bed, Bath and Beyond with Sergio. We had to get some more stuff for the apartment (Which looks amazing painted the way it is. Its less Kitsche and much more mature and adult-like. than i rested. Than went to FLOSS!. Best performance i have ever done. Its cool to have two of the original FLOSSERS in the cast. Especially Robert who wrote it. They have given me much more freedom with Imobu and let me do stuff i didnt get a chance to do last run. Jaime's husband was in the audience and he tried to get me to drink Eelchohol. Its so weird, she's 28 and he's 24 and he's one of the most mature 24 year olds i have ever met and very supportive. Good for her. Than we all went to a party which was great. Met a lot of people. i got to have a long conversation with Robert about CORNservatory and artists and mental health and pretty much everything under the sun. He said that he hopes i do more shows for them and i would love to. First theatre group ive been with here that i really enjoy working with.

Becky and Jaime are awesome. We're all on the same page and i feel like we can talk about everything under the sun and if we have a difference of opinion we all understand that that is life. Your not always gonna agree and we each understand that and agree to disagree.
We all talked about the fact that when you present a play that is going to offend some people its gonna get them to talk about issues people wouldnt talk about.
For Instance: If Tom Cruise hadnt made such ridiculous comments about psychology and mental illnesses than America wouldnt be talking about their own opinions on those things and its important that people do! Cause it effects more people than they think....

And How!

Two sides of the curtain...

"Did you ever wake up one mornign to suddenly find a full-grown oak tree standing tall on your front lawn? Of Course not. Somewhere in the past a seed was planted. When a nasty problem suddenly pops up and cuts off the flow of happiness that was fulfilling a particular desire of yours...this is not just some random chaotic event. There exists a deeper cause. Somewhere in the past a seed was planted"

Really have been mulling that over for the last couple days. Especially since i talked with a close friend who felt somewhat responsible for my decent into drugs. Number one, i never blamed said person or held them responsible. Its my responsibility and thats it. Cut and dry.

However, reading this quote made me realize how right i was. My addiction and all that was meant to happen and something a long time ago happened that made itself available but it was NOT why i did it so much and not why i did crazy stuff for it. Another thing thats been squeezing myself into my head is this...this is from reading a lot about the nature of addiction and have substance abuse issues.

If you crave it so much, you do have a problem. Maybe a big one or maybe a small one. But there exists something in yourself that is seeking that substance to take care of some issue.

Work sucked....i need a drink
Parents are annoying me....i need to chill and smoke a joint.
Im not happy... pass the joing and wheres my beer??

It all stems from some sort of issue you have. An escape you need.

The reason why i never thought my friends had substance abuse problems was cause i didnt want them too. So i convinced myself they didnt, its a subconscious thing
Its like going to the gym and somehow making it seem okay that i didnt do my hour of cardio OR coming up with some reason or another for not going to the gym AT all.

Its so interesting.

Remodeling....

So, the "adult-ifying" of the apartment has started. Sergio and i went to the paint store, picked out great colors that accent each other. The bed should be coming soon. We figured a way that the place will still seem uncluttered, yet have two seperate rooms. having a coffee table and a table to eat at. Its gonna be off the hook. Plus its fun. The painting starts tomorrow, done by the end of the week. Carpet Cleaners come next week than the bed.

Thats all i gotta folks!

One AINT the loneliest number...

I realized that im not lonely. All this time i sit here thinking that im alone, but im not.
True, Im not in college anymore and there arent a million people at my place all the time and i dont have a huge party to go to all the time. Its this little thing called Growing Up. I actually feel bad for the people that are trying to make it continue because all they are gonna become are has beens. They'll end up in rehab in 10 years....

HAH! BEEN THERE DONE THAT.

Im actually quite content with my life right now. Things may not be as perfect as i want them to be. I may not be geographiccly where i want to be. Whats the point of complaining about it. Complaints will just make you even more down.

You are where your supposed to be at this very moment.

Someone once told me that i have to start putting my romantic interests before my friends. Cuz maybe thats why i dont have a boyfriend.

Number One: I dont have a boyfriend, cuz according to some other plan...Im not supposed to have one
Number two: WHO CARES? Being in a relationship should NEVER be the most important thing in ur life
Number three: I agreed with her and now i realize how high school that comment of hers was.

Why does it feel that maturity weeds out friendships? You think relationships will last forever but not all of them are. People change, and some change together and some dont. Im probably repeating myself but oh well.

NEW SUBJECT: Amerikafka
I saw the most AMAZING play last night about Franz Kafka was a German Jew writer and he's actually heavilly admired in Modernism works of literature. The show went back and forth between an unfinished work of his and what he felt through writing it. A play within a play or rather a book of a play within a play. it was one of the most strangest yet interesting things ive ever seen. The humor mixed in with the tragedy really got to you. At one point a man dressed as a Nazi soldier came out and did the Nazi Arm thingie and yelled ASHKANAZI. Im actually an Ashkanazi Israeli (There are Ashkanazi and Sephardic. Ashkanazim are jew who immigrated to europe from Babylon and Palestine). Anyways...
The Nazi yelled ASHKANAZI and the three actors on stage said "Bless You"

In Beauty, Truth and Love,
Me

Technology for the Soul

Well everything is falling into place...
I met most of the new cast of FLOSS! and they seem mad cool. Especially the girl that plays "American". We smoked a cig and chatted and stuff.
I start rehearsals for "The Devil and Dexter Webster" in a couple weeks and in a few weeks, Im taking a vacation with Sergio and most likely Joe.

Ive been dealing heavily with growing up and ive been doing pretty good. Having a conflict with someone and not yelling at them deals heavily with maturity. If ur going to have a hissy fit, do it somewhere else and than be ready to deal with the person who oyou are having conflicts with.
Sergio and i talked heavily about it and looking back at his life he sees where the growing up starts to happen.
Ive finally learned to stand up for myself and some people dont liek it too much. Admitting to Andrew that im not a chaffeur and stuff wasnt as hard as i thought. He's tried to contact me several times since our fight and i havent answered. Liz hasnt. Thats cool. Theyve ganged up and thats cool, but i dont think they are totally in sync with each other.

I could become very vindicitive and hurt them but whats the point? Why trouble myself with these immature people. At some point she will learn what he's said about her.
Weeding people out of ur life is tough. Liz might have said that ill always be alone because i tell it like it is, but i think in the long run ill gain more friendships. Friendships that are healthy and not co-dependent. Im very independent now and some cant handle it.

Shawn and I have come a long way. He knows how i feel about his hissy fits and i know how he feels about when i have a hissy fit. We deal with out conflicts healthily.

Friendships werent made to be easy, and if ur scared of conflict than your gonna live in a world where nothing is real and true.

As Angela Monet said: "Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music"

Try a Lil Tenderness...

So Im kind of down and i dont know why...
I mean, i started rehearsals for FLOSS! and i love it. I love the people, they are fun. There's no attitude, and pretty much all of them are talented.
A FAR cry from THE CAGE. where the number of bad actors outnumbers the good ones.

Ive met some pretty awesome people and ive met some pretty sh*tty people. Everyone in this world has, i guess im lucky cuz i dont have to work with those people all the time. THANK the LORD.
Running into Rachel at auditions for FLOSS!! was a trip and finally being in a show with her is even trippier. Even in college we never did a show together except for the parody cabaret during my sophmore year. Its gonna be fun.
I have so many good things going forme. i mean i havent stopped working for over a year and i love it. I have an agent, i have great friends....somethings missing.. i dont necessarily think its a boyfriend and there's something off...

i dont know what....

Waiting for tonight....

Its Thursday again and of course, we have the show again tonight.
Im usually a very positive person, and im not usually a tempermental actor,but as soon as i walk in those doors of this sorry excuse for a play, i get tense and i get all pissy
Its not as bad as i am AFTER the show. Especially after Sunday's show. After that pitiful excuse of an actor (Jeremey) yelled in my face that clipped my neck with that sword i was totally ready to quit.
I dont understand how everyone else in the cast can deal with those psychos. Nick has a really good idea of why the others can deal with them, but im not gonna speak for someone else.

When i think of all the offers i got within the last few months, and that i turned them down cuz i gave my word i would do this show, it makesme sick.
this whole thing has been a waste of my time, and my time is valuable. This is the first job in OVER a year that i havent gotten paid for and i took it forthe challenge.
The character was hardly as much of a challenge than working with this sH*tty company. No wonder why everyone left the company. And when it comes down to it, its just gonna be Jeremey and Anna. Thank god they are hooking up, a psycho deserves another psycho.

Anyways, ill shutup about this cuz its getting me worked up.